Respect the person's right to choose how much detail they want to know.
Invitation: ask permission
I — Invitation
People differ in how they want to receive hard information. Some want to know everything in detail, including numbers and the prognosis; for others the gist is enough, and the details frighten them. Both are normal, and both can change over time.
Step I is a direct, respectful question: “Which would you prefer: should I go through everything in detail, or just the main points first, and we'll come back to the details when you're ready?” A question like this gives the person back control in a situation where they've almost lost it — and that in itself is support.
If the person says “I don't want the details,” it isn't a refusal to talk; it's important information about how to lead the conversation.
Lesson notes
I — Invitation
People differ in how they want to receive hard information. Some want to know everything in detail, including numbers and the prognosis; for others the gist is enough, and the details frighten them. Both are normal, and both can change over time.
Step I is a direct, respectful question: “Which would you prefer: should I go through everything in detail, or just the main points first, and we'll come back to the details when you're ready?” A question like this gives the person back control in a situation where they've almost lost it — and that in itself is support.
If the person says “I don't want the details,” it isn't a refusal to talk; it's important information about how to lead the conversation.