Determine how deep a conflict has gone and choose your intervention by its depth.
Three depths of conflict
The deeper it goes, the less talking works
Conflicts don't stand still — without intervention, they get deeper. The conflict researcher Friedrich Glasl described nine stages; for a manager's day-to-day work, three depths are enough.
Depth 1: friction. The sides argue, but they talk to each other and want a solution. It's enough to stay out of the way or help a little: questions, criteria for choosing.
Depth 2: war between people. The argument is now loaded with grudges: the sides talk ABOUT each other, not WITH each other, pile up grievances, look for supporters. They won't get out on their own — they need a moderator. That's you.
Depth 3: rupture. The goal is no longer a solution but winning or harming the other side: ultimatums, going over people's heads, quiet sabotage. Talking barely works — management decisions are needed: split them across projects, change the lineup, part ways.
The main rule: a conflict doesn't climb back up on its own. “It'll sort itself out” is a decision to let it slide all the way to the third depth, where the choice of solutions is the poorest and the most expensive.
How a conflict deepens
- 1Friction
They argue about the issue and want a solution. Your move: criteria, questions — or stay out of the way.
- 2War between people
They talk about each other, not with each other; they look for supporters. Your move: mediation.
- 3Rupture
The goal is to win or to do harm: sabotage, ultimatums. Your move: a management decision.
Lesson notes
The deeper it goes, the less talking works
Conflicts don't stand still — without intervention, they get deeper. The conflict researcher Friedrich Glasl described nine stages; for a manager's day-to-day work, three depths are enough.
Depth 1: friction. The sides argue, but they talk to each other and want a solution. It's enough to stay out of the way or help a little: questions, criteria for choosing.
Depth 2: war between people. The argument is now loaded with grudges: the sides talk ABOUT each other, not WITH each other, pile up grievances, look for supporters. They won't get out on their own — they need a moderator. That's you.
Depth 3: rupture. The goal is no longer a solution but winning or harming the other side: ultimatums, going over people's heads, quiet sabotage. Talking barely works — management decisions are needed: split them across projects, change the lineup, part ways.
The main rule: a conflict doesn't climb back up on its own. “It'll sort itself out” is a decision to let it slide all the way to the third depth, where the choice of solutions is the poorest and the most expensive.