← Scam Defense: How to Keep Your Money
Lesson
Lesson 15. Talking with an older parent — before the call, not after
Agree on three simple rules with a loved one in advance, and have that talk without hurt feelings.
A talk best had in advance
Three rules and one phrase
People put this talk off because it sounds like “you can't cope.” It doesn't have to. Start with facts: in FTC data, adults 18–59 reported losing money 34% more often than people over 60, while older people's losses are larger. Programmers, accountants, and police officers fall for scams too. Age changes not whether someone falls for it but how much they lose.
So the talk isn't about “you'll get fooled” but about “they call everyone, let's agree on how we answer.” Agree on three things:
• “First hang up and call me back” — for any call about money, whoever the caller claims to be. It's the same emergency brake from Lesson 3, just agreed on in advance.
• A code word or a security question — short, and not on social media or in your messages.
• “We don't discuss money, codes, or accounts over the phone” — not with the bank, not with the police, not with a grandchild.
And say the main thing in advance: if the money does go — call me, I won't be mad at you. Shame eats up those very first minutes when you can still call the bank and ask them to stop the transfer.
Lesson notes
Three rules and one phrase
People put this talk off because it sounds like “you can't cope.” It doesn't have to. Start with facts: in FTC data, adults 18–59 reported losing money 34% more often than people over 60, while older people's losses are larger. Programmers, accountants, and police officers fall for scams too. Age changes not whether someone falls for it but how much they lose.
So the talk isn't about “you'll get fooled” but about “they call everyone, let's agree on how we answer.” Agree on three things:
• “First hang up and call me back” — for any call about money, whoever the caller claims to be. It's the same emergency brake from Lesson 3, just agreed on in advance.
• A code word or a security question — short, and not on social media or in your messages.
• “We don't discuss money, codes, or accounts over the phone” — not with the bank, not with the police, not with a grandchild.
And say the main thing in advance: if the money does go — call me, I won't be mad at you. Shame eats up those very first minutes when you can still call the bank and ask them to stop the transfer.