I can say who's in my family, ask about someone else's, and not mix up the two sets of words: the plain ones for my own relatives, the polite ones for other people's.
Whose and with whom: の and と
Whose and with whom: の and と
The goal of this lesson: talk about your family and say who owns what.
The particle の goes between two nouns: the owner on the left, the thing on the right: わたしのかぞく, たなか（田中）さんのくに. It works like English 's: Tanaka-san's country. The trap is “of”: in “the country of Tanaka-san” the order is reversed. The owner always comes first.
The same の adds who someone is to you: ともだちのやまだ（山田）さん, “my friend Yamada-san”. First who they are to you, then the name.
The particle と joins two nouns — “and”: ちちとはは. Unlike English “and”, it can't join verbs or sentences.
For your own family you use the plain words (ちち, はは, あに), for someone else's the polite ones (おとうさん, おかあさん, おにいさん). It's a rule, not a choice to sound nicer: the plain word for someone else's mother sounds rude, the polite one for your own sounds funny. Both sets are in the table. English “sister” and “brother” don't say older or younger; Japanese always does.
No plural: こども is a child or children; ともだち is a friend or friends.
The question “who”: だれのともだちですか (whose friend is it?), やまださんはだれですか (who is Yamada-san?).
Common mistakes:
• NOT わたしのおかあさん — about your own family, plain: わたしのはは.
• NOT やまださんのはは — about someone else's, polite: やまださんのおかあさん.
• NOT わたしかぞく — の is missing.
• NOT やまださんともだち — ともだちのやまださん.
Two sets of family words
Your own family takes the plain words, someone else's the polite ones. The characters 父, 母, 子 are only for recognition.
| Who | Your own family | Someone else's family | In writing |
|---|---|---|---|
| father | ちち | おとうさん | 父 |
| mother | はは | おかあさん | 母 |
| older brother | あに | おにいさん | — |
| older sister | あね | おねえさん | — |
| younger brother | おとうと | おとうとさん | — |
| younger sister | いもうと | いもうとさん | — |
| wife | つま | おくさん | — |
| husband | おっと | ごしゅじん | — |
| child, children | こども | おこさん | 子ども |
| family | かぞく | ごかぞく | — |
の and と
Both particles go between two nouns.
| What it does | Model | Translation |
|---|---|---|
| whose (the owner comes first) | たなかさんのくに | Tanaka-san's country |
| who they are to you (first who, then the name) | ともだちのやまださん | my friend Yamada-san |
| and (joins words) | ちちとはは | father and mother |
Lesson notes
Whose and with whom: の and と
The goal of this lesson: talk about your family and say who owns what.
The particle の goes between two nouns: the owner on the left, the thing on the right: わたしのかぞく, たなか（田中）さんのくに. It works like English 's: Tanaka-san's country. The trap is “of”: in “the country of Tanaka-san” the order is reversed. The owner always comes first.
The same の adds who someone is to you: ともだちのやまだ（山田）さん, “my friend Yamada-san”. First who they are to you, then the name.
The particle と joins two nouns — “and”: ちちとはは. Unlike English “and”, it can't join verbs or sentences.
For your own family you use the plain words (ちち, はは, あに), for someone else's the polite ones (おとうさん, おかあさん, おにいさん). It's a rule, not a choice to sound nicer: the plain word for someone else's mother sounds rude, the polite one for your own sounds funny. Both sets are in the table. English “sister” and “brother” don't say older or younger; Japanese always does.
No plural: こども is a child or children; ともだち is a friend or friends.
The question “who”: だれのともだちですか (whose friend is it?), やまださんはだれですか (who is Yamada-san?).
Common mistakes:
• NOT わたしのおかあさん — about your own family, plain: わたしのはは.
• NOT やまださんのはは — about someone else's, polite: やまださんのおかあさん.
• NOT わたしかぞく — の is missing.
• NOT やまださんともだち — ともだちのやまださん.